There are probably no people who have never lost a friend. One can lose a friend because of the distance between them, because of some misunderstanding, or because of some quarrels. Sometimes it is very hard when you drift apart with a friend and sometimes you may not even want to break any connections with them.
So, is there a chance to deal with this problem? And how to do it? We have prepared for you a couple of tips that may help you in this situation and become closer to your friend once again.
#1 Give yourselves some space
Sometimes dealing with a problem in one’s friendship is like dealing with a problem in a love relationship. The situation could be quite sticky and you have to be careful not to make things worse.
So, the first thing you should do if you are arguing with a friend is not to speak to each other while you are angry. Give yourselves some time to think over the situation and to calm down and they you may have a talk.
There is another useful thing to do – give yourselves time. Do not speak to each other, do not see each other, but only for a while. Then you can remind yourself what it was like to have this friend and how much fun you had with one another.
Remind yourself all the good things you have been through. And then you may give them a call and have a talk.
#2 Do not involve your mutual friends in the fight
One of the big problems when quarreling with a friend is how to share the attention of the mutual friends you have. The first thing you need to remember in this situation is not to drag them into the fight. Do not make them choose sides. This will not work for either side. Just continue seeing your mutual friends but not at the same time as your losing friend.
And do not make them help you a lot. Sure, mutual friends can bring you together at the same time and place, but you two should be the ones to deal with the problem. Think about the things you argued about and the compromises that each one of you could do in order to protect your friendship.
#3 Pay attention to emotions
So, you may feel pretty badly that you and one of your best friends are not cool at the moment and this is normal. But do you feel really sad that your friend is gone, or you only feel guilt, or some sadness that things are changing. It is very important to think about the emotions you are having, because they would be the ones to really show you how to act.
Think about whether you will miss this person’s company and advices. Are there more positive things you connect to being friends with them, or is it just because of old habits? This step is really important and you have to actually listen to what your emotions say. They can really help you in this situation and you will make up your mind more easily.
#4 Talk about it
After some time has passed and it is already time to talk to your losing friend, make sure you are well prepared. List all the things you want to share with them, the way they hurt you, what you do not like about them and what you want them to change and many more.
You may also make sure that you have a list in your mind and do not forget to mention the things in it while you are having this conversation. You may practice it before that.
Share your speech with your mother or some other relative or friend. They can give you an advice and you will see their opinion about the situation. It is always best to hear what another person who is not involved in the conflict will have to say about that. This may also make you think whether you are right or not exactly.